She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
