I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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