Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
