and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
