ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
