I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So here I am, sexting at work.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
