the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize