Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
