the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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