would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just forgot I was standing up.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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