I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
