It's like God shit irony all over that family
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
