Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
