Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
