Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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