About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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