she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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