Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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