so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
