Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have post one night stand depression
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
