you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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