i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
