He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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