So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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