So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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