I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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