Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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