I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
