I think my vagina is haunted
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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