what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
