Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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