I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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