trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
