Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
