you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
