Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i can't believe i had my finger in that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
