I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
