Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
