Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
