she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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