Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she looked like the before picture.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
