the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
