Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
