what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
