you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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