; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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