What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Did I show you my penis last night?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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