i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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