5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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