I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
