you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
