I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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