Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
