the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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