how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize