my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my poor anus
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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