Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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