Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
