Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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