Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ttyl tear gas
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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