I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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