That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
