I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize