First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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