i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
