Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
